24 July 2009

No More Tears

Dear Johnson & Johnson,

I'm not a regular user of Johnson's Baby Shampoo, but when I needed a small travel bottle I chose your product because I recognized the brand and its good reputation.

I was surprised on unscrewing the bottle's lid to find a foil seal across the opening. Much of my surprise came from being in the shower at the time. Finding that I did not have my pen knife, I had to scratch a hole in the seal with my fingernails.

I then tried to squeeze out some shampoo. A golden droplet bulged out of the opening, but I found no shampoo in my hand. After two or three such attempts, I realized that the foil had in fact been a light gilding on a clear plastic seal.

A plastic seal that was stronger and more flexible than foil would have been, spanning an opening smaller than my little finger and therefore impossible to poke through from the outside.

I finally managed to squeeze the bottle hard enough to break the plastic seal--an act which also deposited a larger than necessary portion of shampoo in my hand.

In conclusion, although I appreciate the corporation's efforts to reassure me about the purity and authenticity of my little travel bottle of Johnson's Baby Shampoo, I would be just as content if it had a less vigorous security system.

Best regards,
J. L. Bell


Glenn Ingersoll said...

The Riches of Content!

Chaucerian said...

I fault your parents for not giving you adequate religious training for this day and age. Surely you are aware of the evil ones who roam supermarket aisles, seeking to put irritants into baby shampoo so that the children's eyes will be injured, rendering them unable to study and thus ensuring that they will not get into Harvard. (Every age gets its own religions, and "getting into Harvard" is a basis of ours.)