The Reasons Why

From Bookgasm, a few of Alan Mott's "50 Reasons No One Wants to Publish Your First Book":

2. There’s this thing called punctuation. You might want to look into it.
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7. It probably wasn’t a good idea to base the main character on yourself, considering how much most people seem to hate you.
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15. It’s not technically a novel until you’ve written it down first.
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31. There’s a fine line between writing authentic regional dialogue and making all of your characters sound like stroke victims.